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Sunday, April 01, 2007



And a subtle approach:

YOU; Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose.

HER; What?

YOU;(reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP.

(If she laughs, she’s yours; if she looks at you funny, apologize.)

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

Follow these instructions:

1: Make sure that you are in the front of the person you’re trying to attract.

2: Put your hands in a vertical plane and separate your hands to the proper distance you want to get across.

3: Look at the person of your affections and with an eye-to-ear grin; shake your head up and down as to reply that you’re this big!

Whatever you do, don’t ever cut that silky hair of yours!

There’s the old classic from the movie “Fletch” (to girl in towel):

Excuse me, could I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

She: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, article of clothing)?

He: I like nothing better.

Hi, A voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

I want to bear all your children. (To a woman)

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

That’s a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?

Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.

Did you know that the word ‘motel’ spelled backwards means ‘letom’?

Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

Let’s take a shower together, you smell.

You smell wet. Let’s party.

May I end this sentence with a proposition?

I’ve got an itch, honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out.

If I were 007BOND, would you screw me?

I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!

If you want me, don’t shake me, or wake me, just take me.

Want to see my stamp collection?

Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it isn’t floppy.

Don’t you know me from somewhere?

Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? I thought you knew..

At the dinner table, (if you eat together) pick up the bread and say, “Wanna roll?”

Hey guy, have I fucked you yet?

Congratulations! You’ve been voted “Most Beautiful Girl In This Room” and the grand prize is a night with me!

I’d give you a piece of my mind, but I’ve got more of something else.

Ever tried those weird prickly condoms? (Sure to get responses)

Funny you should mention that, I was a gynaecologist once.

Cold outside, isn’t it? (Staring at breasts)

Actually, ma’am, ah’m not as tall as you think. Ah’m from Taixus, and ah’m sittin’ on mah wallet.

Hey! Ya wanna try out my new ‘Home Artificial Insemination Kit?’

I am writing a new algorithm, and I need some test data. What are your measurements?

I have some hard code I want to try your compiler on.

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