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Sunday, April 01, 2007



I recently came across an interesting statistic:

Men who were successful when they used the pickup line “Hi”: 71%

Women who were successful when they used the pickup line “Hi”: 100%

He: I’m a really good cook!

She: What do you cook best?

He: Breakfast in bed! (Grins)

What do you like for breakfast?

Let’s do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.


If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put you between f and ck.

Nice dress/pants, can I talk you out of it?

What’s your sign?

The best part of me is covered up.

(If wearing swim trunks, a bikini, or a skimpy outfit)

Overheard in our computer lab:

Just because your computers are incompatible, does not mean we are.

YOU; is your daddy a thief?

HER; No.

YOU; Then who stole those diamonds and put them in your eyes?

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

Guy goes up to a girl, licks his finger, touches her on the shoulder, and then touches himself (all this while she is watching him) and says:

How about you and I get out of these wet clothes?

It worked for him... :)

While we are on the subject of pickup lines, how about bad pickup lines? The absolutely worst pickup line I have heard is:

I’m looking for a you want to be my friend?

Then again, I fell for it (she seemed like such a nice girl).

Mmmm, you bring new meaning to the word “edible”.

Hey guy, but I DO think it is time we met.

She: I really enjoyed myself tonight.

He: I enjoyed myself too. Maybe sometime we can let our bodies enjoy each other.

That dress would look awfully/ nice on my bedroom floor.


That miniskirt would look great crumpled up at the end of my bed.


That is a cute outfit. It would be even cuter wrinkled on my bedroom floor.


I think that shirt would look great on the carpet beside my bed.

Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

Drop ‘em.

Hey guy. Do you wanna fuck or should I apologize?

Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

Help, I am lost. Which way is it to your house?


Hi, I’m new in town. Which way is it to your house?

Why don’t you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?

I had a friend who used to hand out calling cards which said:

Smile if you want to sleep with me

Then watch the victim try to hold back her smile...

On the other hand, he had cards that said:.

Here I am, madly in love with you, on the verge of killing myself for your love

And I don’t even know your NAME__________ PHONE________

Hi, my name’s Ron, how do you like me so far?

At the office copy machine:

“Reproducing, eh? Can I help?”

There is an aura about you that’s hidden and I want to bring that aura out.

She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?

He: Do you have the energy?

What is your favourite position on extramarital sex?

Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY?

Say mother! Want another? (If she has children)

Bond. James Bond.

Gosh, you’re pretty/handsome!!!

Stand back, I’m a doctor. You go get an ambulance; I will loosen her clothes.

Take a chance on me.

Your place or mine?

Your face or mine?

This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

Do you want to come back to my place and pet my dog/cat?

You have the ass of a great artist.

A friend of mine who walked up to a young lady in a club and simply asked, “Are you ready to go home now?” She smiled a bit, stood up, and they left together.If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold IT against me?

When asked for a match:

How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?

I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynaecologists.

I’ve gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

Wanna play carnival? That’s where you sit on my face and I try to guess your Weight.

I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

I’d look good on you.

I would kill or die to make love to you.

I would die happy if I saw you naked just once.

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

Hi! Can I buy you a car?

Oh, I’m doing fine! And you?

(While looking at someone and waiting for them to say anything)

Aren’t we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later tonight?

Hi, I just moved to this city and was wondering if you could recommend a good restaurant here. Would you also like to join me?

Fancy a fuck?

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

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